


flowers for you.

by angstyhyungwon



Series: flowers for you [1]
Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, HyungWonho - Freeform, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 05:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18359399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyhyungwon/pseuds/angstyhyungwon
Summary: when hyungwon likes wonhobut wonho is already with someone elsehe already knows thathis life won't end with a good note





	flowers for you.

**Author's Note:**

> might contain some triggering stuff?  
> please read with caution <3
> 
> \----------------------------------
> 
> also this is my take on the hanahaki disease  
> djgka been a while since i've heard it so  
> i just decided maybe i should write some angst about it ;)

Hyunwon's eyes ever-so-weakly flick open,  
His mind processing and realizing once again that he's still on the same bed.  
Still in the same hospital, still hospitalized.

He figured He's gotten so frail that he didn't even realize  
Kihyun and Hyunwoo sat by his side.  
"Hyungwon. . . How was your sleep?" Kihyun quietly whispered,  
He had a smile his face, though felt pitiful as he stared at it.

"It was, nice." Hyungwon's crimson-tinted, still plump lips moved,  
Sometimes the friends wondered how his lips looked more alive than  
he does. It was a silly but dreadful thought.

Second thing, his voice's tone had become extremely strained.  
His once soft, soothing voice now a quiet, but rough tone.  
The friends tried to stay positive, especially the ones who knew.

The ones who knew he liked the one friend, Hoseok.

"That's great." Kihyun sighed peacefully,  
"Our day yesterday was good too. We went to a cafe,"  
Hyunwoo chuckled at his own comment, "Why are you laughing?"  
Hyungwon slightly smiled at the sight of his hyung laughing.

"Minhyukie got his drink tipped over on his shirt,"  
Kihyun and Hyunwoo both laughed, along with Hyungwon.  
"Oh, classic Minhyuk." Hyungwon grinned as he said so,

"Yeah. . ."  
Kihyun's voice trailed off when he looked like he remembered something.  
Hyungwon brushed it off when the two started talking to each other,  
Heavy eyes flicking towards the windows that let the bright light in.

Almost 3 whole months of being like this, he thought.  
Feels like an eternity. He wonders how he's still alive, nowadays.  
Honestly, he could only recall the first time he developed this disease. . . 

 

* * *

 

"Hoseok hyung!" Hyungwon ran to Hoseok, hugging him while the friends smiled sheepishly.  
"You seem too happy around Hoseok hyung," Kihyun joked.   
"Of course, he treats me better than you guuuuys," The skinny figure grinned.

Hyungwon pulled away, the bigger figure then pulled out his phone,  
Seeing as it had buzzed. Hyungwon and the others talked,  
Hoseok could only sigh. "Hey guys, I have to go early. My girlfriend needs me,"

_Girlfriend?_

"Oh. . . I see, see you next time!" Changkyun said,  
they all waved as Hoseok left, but Hyungwon.

"He has a girlfriend? What a man," Jooheon joked,   
That was the moment Hyungwon started feeling queasy.  
Extremely light-headed. "Hyungwon? Hey," The skinny figure snapped out of the daze,  
Gaze focused on Minhyuk's hand waving in front of his face.

"Hey, you don't look so good. Are you okay?"  
Hyungwon would nod, nod until he proceeded to throw up what seemed to be petals and flowers.  
"H--Hyungwon!!" Kihyun exclaimed, everyone including them wide-eyed as he collapsed.  
"Shit, call the fucking ambulance now!"

The voices and view slowly blurred out,   
Suddenly it was just black, and it felt like nothing but peace.

Hyungwon, then woke up on a hospital bed and proceeded to throw up flowers the next hour.  
The doctor explained that the sudden news affected the severity of his **Hanahaki disease** ,  
Saying as well that he wouldn't live as long as a year.  
Hyungwon never heard the news, but the others did.

Hoseok didn't know it was him,  
But he still made efforts to come and see him once in a while.  
He rarely did, seeing as every time he came, Hyungwon was always in the worst condition.  
He never thought too deeply onto why.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hyungwonie, we're gonna go now. Have a good day, okay?"  
Kihyun lightly hugged his friend, as well as Hyunwoo.   
"We'll come see you again after tomorrow." Hyunwoo added, waving a small goodbye  
as the two went and left his room.

Hyungwon got back to staring at the big gaping window,  
He wished he never fell in love with Hoseok.

He wished he never existed, in the first place.

In all honesty, liking Hoseok had already mentally drained the life out of him.  
Insecurities and dark thoughts made their way through him,  
So being in this situation never really affected him.  
He could feel the illness slowly kill him every second,  
And every time he had an episode of the, you know, throwing up flowers and blood.

The nurses every-now-and-then gave him blood to keep him going,  
They always tried to keep him alive the best they can.  
Last month had been much grim, so he expects it that his life ends this month.

As he got weaker, the episodes did become less and less severe,  
Unless Hoseok came to visit, they became horrid and distasteful.

"Hyungwon?"  
Hyungwon's gaze moved towards the door,  
He could immediately feel the flowers trickle up his throat.  
It was Hoseok, who had widened his eyes as he wasn't able to visit him last month.  
"Oh god, Hyungwon. You look much worse than the last time,"  
The moment he took a step inside, Hyungwon sprung up and began vigorously throwing up the whole flowers.

Hoseok had a pained expression,  
He felt guilty and horrible for showing his presence.

The nurses pushed Hoseok away, immediately rushing into his room.  
Hoseok sat on the chairs outside the room.   
He had his hands on his hair, eyes shut and teeth clenched tightly.

After specifically 18 minutes, the nurses reassured Hoseok to carefully go inside the room.  
He nodded, and did as they said.

Oh god, he looked even worse than earlier, he thought.  
Hoseok could only frown, he couldn't bring himself to smile at the moment.  
As Hyungwon slowly opened his eyes again, he sickeningly looked at his hyung.

Tears shot at the skinny figure's eyes, not being able to throw up at the sight of his love interest,  
only meant that he'd be dying soon enough now.  
Hyungwon couldn't help but cry, though he's wanted to die for a long time,  
part of him still didn't want to.

"Hoseok hyung," His fragile-sounding voice sounded like it'd crack any time.  
Hoseok stared at his friend's lips. Much more of a red lip-tint than it looked when he visited last time.  
It hurt his heart, he could only imagine how many times he had an episode of it.

"Hyungwon, I'm so sorry. . . Why won't you move on?"  
Hoseok finally started crying, lowering his head down as he did so.  
"Because you're already with someone, so life seems worthless."

The bigger figure looked at him, wide-eyed.  
He was. . . The one causing this pain to his own friend this whole time?  
What was worse was. . .

"I'm sorry. . . Hyungwon. . ."  
Hoseok mumbled audibly, as Hyungwon heard it, he smiled.  
Though smiling, tears remained to fall down.

"It's okay hyung, not every ending is good."

 

* * *

 

 

It was the next day.  
Hoseok took some of his time to visit Hyungwon again.  
He doesn't want his friend to die, but he didn't know if this decision was right either.

Finally, he arrived at the door of his friend's room.  
He brought his favorite food (pork bbq) so that he could munch on it for breakfast.  
He was prepared, to talk about what he's missed on, to finally say the things he wanted.

Except. . .

Hoseok dropped the pork bbq on the floor, as his eyes focused on one thing.  
He focused on Hyungwon, who looked like a skin-covered skeleton who burst into flowers.  
His mouth and left eye were covered in crimson-stained white petals.  
Blood had trickled down from his lips down his neck.  
His skin were almost as pale as the snow, though his lips remained red.

Hoseok approached the now corpse of his friend,  
Tears continuously fell down as he did so.

That was when his stupid decision was made.  
The stupid thought that finally got him to realize his true feelings,

 

**"Hyungwon. . . I love you too."**

 

 

 

_**&** _

**Author's Note:**

> there's a part 2 called "anthophobia" <3 hope y'all check it out


End file.
